The Agent Zero: Taking One For The Team

If you recall, crazy/bored readers, I shared with you Gilbert Arenas' new cocktail, the Agent Zero. If not, scroll down. Since Arenas is a delightful combination of an amazing basketball player and bat-shit insane, I figured I should try his cocktail.

I ventured to my local sports hole (the one of pirate theme) and rather awkwardly asked the bartender for my basic ingredients. The request didn't phase him a bit, but this establishment that has so many TVs there are some in places that no customers can actually view, a cocktail list that could be compared favorably to TGIFridays, Reggae on fridays, showings of The Seventh Seal on Sundays, and serves breakfast all day to the most dedicated chain-smoking video-crack players this side of Foxwoods.


There we are: a Shirley Temple and a Corona. Let the destruction begin.
For those dumb enough to replicate this experiment, I recommend ordering the Temple without ice. Messy. I had never previously considered that anyone would want to water down Corona more. It's counter-intuitive to an efficiency-minded alcoholic like me. At roughly 2.2% alcohol by volume as a mixed drink, It tastes like a Shirley Temple. There is no beer flavor of any kind.

I pounded this drink in 4 minutes, in an effort to clear out of the bar before the Reggae clusterfuck got started. Unfortunately the ingredients make two pints of drink, so down the hatch went a second pint


I guess you'll have to trust me that I finished the ghastly beverage. It is the type of beverage that shakes loose memories of high school drinking concoctions that are best left to the amateurs. I suggest that the world put this drink on injured reserve, where we can find its creator.

Hibachi!!!!!!!!!!!!